WHEW!!!

What a weekend!! The Oklahoma Homeschool Convention was a HUGE blessing. What an amazing group of people I am blessed to work with! I left early (thanks, Emma!) so I don't know what our numbers were, but Friday was PACKED! Standing room only workshops, lines out the kazoo at the vendor booths...AMAZING! Give us a couple of weeks and we will start planning for 2010!

As for me, I have 2 weeks to get everyone ready to go to the Grand Canyon. Our entire family will be going and my dad has it all planned out. (I am SO relieved to just get to go along for the ride and not have to plan anything!) Packing 9 people for a 7 day trip is no small feat! We will be doing laundry halfway through, so really, I will only be packing for 3 days (plus the clothes we wear). Since we will be staying in different hotels each day, I decided instead of each person having their own suitcase to lug in and out each day, we will be packing in Rubbermaids. Day #1, Day #2, and Day #3, plus our "overnight" Rubbermaid which will have all jammies and toiletries. Two Rubbermaids in and out of the hotel each day. That sounds MUCH better to me than NINE suitcases. We are all really looking forward to this trip.

Between now and then, we have Olympic Day, Voice Recital, the boys performing "It's Cool In The Furnace" at church, a birthday party...make that TWO birthday parties (I almost forgot Ashlee will be "14" tomorrow!), oh, REHEARSALS for voice and church, but most importantly, Samara and Josiah's adoption day!!! (Friday, May 8) We will also be having them dedicated on Mother's Day.

It is bittersweet for me. On one hand, we are overjoyed that these two days are finally coming (adoption and dedication) but on the other hand, my only other experience is with Jacob. That didn't turn out so well, so I am having some minor issues with this. Please pray. Jacob died the day before his dedication day at church. It is still extremely difficult to sit through baby dedications, and now we are going to go through one. Don't get me wrong...I WANT them to be dedicated...I WANT this to happen, I just don't want to have the "Jacob" memories.

Samara and Josiah really don't have a clue as to what this adoption stuff means. First of all, because of the trauma of their past, there are just some things they are not ready/able to discuss and understand. Josiah is 3 and Samara has the mental/emotional capacity of a 3 year old. One day we will be able to talk about it, but not yet. Also, when I did mention something about going to court, Samara immediately connected that with Jacob's death. I decided to just drop it at that point. Seriously, she doesn't need to think that once the adoption is final, that she will go to heaven, too. It seems like even the exciting things in this first year without Jacob are hard.

I would like to share something with you all so that you can be aware of the power of God's healing. As I have written before, Josiah was diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) last year. While in total agreement with the diagnosis, since then, we believe that he has been healed from this. I couldn't help but rejoice over the difference a year has made.

Last year, I left Josiah and Jacob at our home with our beloved babysitter for the two days during convention. When I got home on Saturday evening, Josiah climbed up in my lap, looked at me with his scary eyes, put his chubby little 2 year old hands around my neck and tried to strangle me. This was real. Fortunately, he was only 2, so he couldn't really hurt me. He was furious with me. This happened twice, along with several rages over the next week.

This year, he stayed with my mom and dad. When I went to pick him up Friday night, he climbed up into my lap, smiling, no scary eyes, and said, "Mommy, I want to go to sleep on you." He then proceeded to cuddle himself right into me. It was heaven! Our God is the ultimate Healer.

I will leave you with that. Have a wonderful week!